They say if you have positive thoughts about something, it will happen. Well, I’ve been thinking positively about my neighbor’s 19-year-old daughter, but so far, no luck. I think maybe my wife’s negative thoughts are interfering.
Joke Type: dark humor
Dark humor jokes, grim punchlines, and comedy from the questionable end of the emotional buffet from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Robin Hood Strength
Robin Hood: *Gives stolen gold to little boy*
Little Kid: Thank you I’m rich now!
Robin Hood:
I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.
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Chloroform Aromatherapy
It’s called chloroform … you’ll love it. It’s like aromatherapy but without all the struggling.
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Hitler Video Games
September 1st, 1939 (colorized) Hitler playing his first video games that caused him to be violent and start WW2.
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Dog Not Taking Chances
The dog knows he’s done nothing wrong but he’s black so he not taking any chances with the police
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Not Good Enough For Her Family
A redneck is on his honeymoon about to make love, when his wife says…
“Wait, honey, there’s somethin’ I need you to know. I’m a virgin.”
“WHAT THE FOOK?” The man shouts, and he punches her in the face, knocks her out.
He wraps her in the bedsheets, drags her down the stairs and out the door, throws her into the back of his pickup truck, and drives on over to her daddy’s house, where he dumps her in the yard.
Then the man drives to his daddy’s house and goes inside.
The dad sees his son, and says, “What the hell you doin’ here, boy? Ain’t you supposed to be with your new bride?”
“Well, pa,” the son says, “I was, but she told me she’s still a virgin.”
“Well holy dog-shit,” says the dad, “What’d you do then?”
“I punched her in the face and knocked her out, wrapped her up in the sheets, drug her down the stairs and out the door, threw her in the back of my pick up, and then drove on to her daddy’s house and dumped her on the lawn.”
The dad starts laughing, and, patting his son on the back, he says, “Good job, son. If she ain’t good enough for her family, I say she ain’t good enough for ours neither.”
