Joke Type: observational

Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Dear Lord Look Away

    Dear Lord Look Away

    Dear Lord. If you could just look away for 2 minutes.

  • Home Alone With My Penis

    Home Alone With My Penis

    When I’m home alone with my penis

  • Four Inches Is A Lot

    Four Inches Is A Lot

    Crush: I just cut off four inches of my hair

    Me: so

    Crush: four inches is a lot

    Me:

  • Constipated Memory

    Constipated Memory

    Constipated woman ‘lost 10 years of memory’ after straining too hard on toilet

    me coming out of the chipotle bathroom:

    I have no memory of this place.

  • Spicy Butt Pancakes

    Spicy Butt Pancakes

    DEEP THOUGHT: Why is spicy the only flavor my butt can detect?

    Why can’t I eat pancakes and then 14 hours later be like OOH PANCAKES AGAIN

  • White Person Spicy Salad

    White Person Spicy Salad

    White person: Wow this sure is spicy!

    Me: It’s a salad

    White person: The sauce is burning me up

    Me: …the ranch?

    White Person: Ow ouch ouch

  • Worm Early Birds

    Worm Early Birds

    if I was a worm I’d sleep in and make those early birds feel so fuckin dumb

  • First Thing Mass Shooting

    First Thing Mass Shooting

    The first thing black ppl say when it’s a mass shooting.

  • Wheel Of Fortune Buy An I

    Wheel Of Fortune Buy An I

    WHEEL OF FORTUNE

    IS IT BAD THAT I LAUGH WHEN THIS GUY SAYS “I’D LIKE TO BUY AN I”

  • Sunbathe On The Roof

    Sunbathe On The Roof

    I’m not allowed to sunbathe on the roof anymore