When my wife said we were breaking up, I thought she was referring to a bad cell phone connection. Now I’m not so sure, since she hasn’t come home in three weeks — and we don’t have a cell phone.
Joke Type: one-liner
One-liner jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Man in the Mirror
I heard Michael Jackson singing about the “Man in the Mirror.” What, was there somebody standing behind him?
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Huh? Magazine
I’ve been thinking of starting a magazine called “Huh?” for people suffering permanent memory loss. To save money, I could just publish the same issue every month.
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If Loving You Is Wrong
If loving you is wrong, then baby, it goes a long way towards explaining the concussion and crushed left testicle.
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Sofishticated
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated.
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Safety in Numb Bears
Most zoo dentists refuse to treat a grizzly without strong anesthesia first.
Because there’s safety in numb bears.
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They Prefer to Eat Out
Why don’t lesbians ever get their pizza delivered? They prefer to eat out.
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Poop Deck Confusion Lands Lifetime Cruise Ban
I haven’t been allowed back on a cruise ship ever since that whole ‘poop deck’ misunderstanding.
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Ugly and Poor
Women call me ugly only until they find how much I make.
Then they call me ugly and poor!!
