Joke Type: one-liner

One-liner jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Toss the Ball

    In some sports you toss the ball to the fans after a victory….

    You’re not supposed to do that when bowling. I know that now.

  • Shout Out to Librarians

    I’d like to give a shout out to all of the librarians…

    …oh… oh, yeah… I’m sorry.

  • Moo Goo Gai Pan

    While lying in bed, the chef of the Chinese restaurant nudged his wife, saying, “I wouldn’t mind a little 69 right now.”

    His wife, who works as a server, turned her back, saying, “If you think I’m gonna get out of bed at this time of night to make you moo goo gai pan, you’re crazy.”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • Fascinate

    A teacher asks little Johnny to say a sentence using the word “fascinate.”

    Little Johnny: “My sister’s boobs are so big that when she puts on her shirt with ten buttons, she can only fasten eight.”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • Imagine Asian

    I used to think I had a Japanese friend.

    But it was just my imagine Asian.

  • Weathermen Are Like New Brides

    Standing at checkout at the local hardware store. The old guy in line ahead of me was asked by the cashier about the upcoming snowstorm forecast.

    “Weathermen are like new brides,” the old man said. “Neither has any idea how many inches they’ll get or how long it’ll last.”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • Open Mike Night

    I’m hosting an autopsy club meeting tonight!

    It’s “Open Mike Night”!

  • No Place to Park

    I got a job at a company that makes fire hydrants…

    …but I had to quit. There was no place to park.