I’d like to give a shout out to all of the librarians…
…oh… oh, yeah… I’m sorry.
Joke Type: one-liner
One-liner jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Moo Goo Gai Pan
While lying in bed, the chef of the Chinese restaurant nudged his wife, saying, “I wouldn’t mind a little 69 right now.”
His wife, who works as a server, turned her back, saying, “If you think I’m gonna get out of bed at this time of night to make you moo goo gai pan, you’re crazy.”
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Imagine Asian
I used to think I had a Japanese friend.
But it was just my imagine Asian.
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Weathermen Are Like New Brides
Standing at checkout at the local hardware store. The old guy in line ahead of me was asked by the cashier about the upcoming snowstorm forecast.
“Weathermen are like new brides,” the old man said. “Neither has any idea how many inches they’ll get or how long it’ll last.”
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Open Mike Night
I’m hosting an autopsy club meeting tonight!
It’s “Open Mike Night”!
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No Place to Park
I got a job at a company that makes fire hydrants…
…but I had to quit. There was no place to park.
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The Ladies’ Tee Box
A guy is golfing at an upscale course and goes to hit the ball from the red tees. A staff member is driving by in his cart and grabs a megaphone: “Will the gentleman on hole four please move his ball back to the white markers, and not hit from the ladies’ tee box?”
The guy yells back, “Will the guy in the golf cart please shut the fuck up so I can take my second shot?”
