Joke Type: one-liner

One-liner jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

Laughter cures everything. Unless you have a phobia about

Laughter cures everything. Unless you have a phobia about someone being amused by the sight of your tiny dick.
The power of language is amazing. For instance, the one-letter

The power of language is amazing. For instance, the one-letter difference between “pastries” and “pasties” was enough to get me permanently banned from every Dunkin’ Donuts in North America.
My new social networking site seems to be attracting an awful

My new social networking site seems to be attracting an awful lot of lesbians. Perhaps I should change the name to something other than “Clitter.”
I’m always glad the Wal-Mart security guards smile when they see

I’m always glad the Wal-Mart security guards smile when they see me coming in the store. Otherwise, what would be the point of humping the dressing room mirror?
I’m not a fan of trite sayings, but “It’s not who you know, it’s

I’m not a fan of trite sayings, but “It’s not who you know, it’s who you blow” sure got me a lot of Girl Scout merit badges.
I heard Houdini was great at coming out of a box when you least

I heard Houdini was great at coming out of a box when you least expected it. Big deal — sounds like every man I ever dated.
I’ll bet Superman was an amazing fuck. Well, except for that

I’ll bet Superman was an amazing fuck. Well, except for that faster-than-a-speeding-bullet part.
engagement rings was updated. My vote goes for basing it on the

engagement rings was updated. My vote goes for basing it on the breast cup size of the fiancee. And if they’re fake? Cubic zirconia. Fair is fair.
Freud once said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” Does that

Freud once said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” Does that mean the rest of the time he was smoking a penis?
I’ll bet Popeye named his pecker “Pimiento

I’ll bet Popeye named his pecker “Pimiento.”