If I masturbated any more, I’d be a teenage boy. A hot, muscled, hard-bodied teenaged boy. Uh, BRB…
Joke Type: one-liner
One-liner jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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A wet dream is a wish your testicles make
A wet dream is a wish your testicles make.
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When people call me a “fucking idiot,” I consider it a
When people call me a “fucking idiot,” I consider it a compliment. After all, it’s my life’s ambition to do nothing but fuck like an idiot all day long.
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A fart is a wish your turd makes
A fart is a wish your turd makes.
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My rules for a night of married sex are now the same rules for a
My rules for a night of married sex are now the same rules for a family evening at home: Don’t block the TV and don’t wake me if I fall asleep.
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The thing I like best about being a professional carpet layer is
The thing I like best about being a professional carpet layer is when some housewife naively asks me to make sure that the carpet matches the drapes.
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I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer,
I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer, because now I feel compelled to keep checking out his cock.
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I’m terrible at remembering sayings. I can usually come close,
I’m terrible at remembering sayings. I can usually come close, but close only counts in haircuts and handjobs.
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No one was surprised when my flat-chested girlfriend discovered
No one was surprised when my flat-chested girlfriend discovered her family originates from the former Soviet republic of Nojugsistan.
