Sometimes a girl just needs to hear those three little words: “I’d hit that.”
Joke Type: one-liner
One-liner jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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My boyfriend’s diabetes is so bad that when I dressed as Candy
My boyfriend’s diabetes is so bad that when I dressed as Candy the Stripper for Halloween, he refused to eat me.
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How did the phrase “balls to the wall” come to mean doing
How did the phrase “balls to the wall” come to mean doing something very quickly? ‘Cause if they were my balls, I guarantee you I would be moving much, much slower.
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Hotel sex is great, but I hate having to ask housekeeping to
Hotel sex is great, but I hate having to ask housekeeping to clean around the tied-up midget.
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The problem with having a Smurf fetish is that once you’ve seen
The problem with having a Smurf fetish is that once you’ve seen one blue pussy, you’ve seen them all.
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This DVD box says, “The Director’s Cut.” Why the fuck should *I*
This DVD box says, “The Director’s Cut.” Why the fuck should *I* care what his penis looks like?
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Snap-On Tools should expand their line to include sex toys. They
Snap-On Tools should expand their line to include sex toys. They already have the name and all.
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Sure, a big penis might please the ladies a little more, but it
Sure, a big penis might please the ladies a little more, but it would mean a LOT more work for me when I’m by myself, and that happens WAY more often.
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The Nick Smith Theorem of Wanking: The amount of sex I’m getting
The Nick Smith Theorem of Wanking: The amount of sex I’m getting is inversely proportionate to how much my right arm hurts.
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Some woman in traffic yelled out her window at me, “You suck!”
Some woman in traffic yelled out her window at me, “You suck!” Well, duh. How do you think we careened off the guardrail and into oncoming traffic in the first place?
