WHEN YOUR BIDET FINALLY ARRIVES FROM AMAZON*
Joke Type: pun
Pun jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Constipation Movie Carl
CARL, HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE MOVIE CONSTIPATION?
DAD…
I SAID, HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT IT, CARL
SIGH….NO
IT NEVER CAME OUT, CARL
CARL, IT NEVER CAME OUT.
I HATE YOU DAD
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Microsoft Office Pun
Boss: How good are you at Power Point?
Me: I Excel at it
Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?
Me: Word
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Ms Jackson Four Eels
I’m sorry Ms. Jackson (ooo)
I am four eels
Never meant to make your daughter cry
BABY WAIT
I am several fish and not a guy
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Behold The Field Barren
BEHOLD THE FIELD IN WHICH I GROW MY FUCKS LOOK THOU VPON IT AND THOU SHALT SEE THAT IT IS BARREN.
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Too Weak Notice
I’ve decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because the weights are too heavy.
I just handed in my too weak notice.
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Top 15 Rejected Slogans Promoting Abstinence
The Top 15 Rejected Slogans Promoting Abstinence
15. Abstinence: Give Yourself a Hand!
14. I say zip it — zip it good!
13. Just because it’s the most pleasurable sensation you’ll ever feel in your lifetime doesn’t mean you should rush right out and experience it.
12. Hey, do you want Ken Starr all over your ass?!
11. Wham, Bam, Thank You Hand!
10. Just Say Whoa
9. Join the celibate Top 5 Contributors!
8. The Pope does it — now *you* can, too!
7. Abstinence: It’s not just for quarrels anymore!
6. Leave It Near Beaver
5. Don’t think of it as less sex — think of it as more time to watch “Babylon 5” reruns.
4. You’ve come a long way, Baby — for nothing!
3. Abstinence: No f**kin’ way!
2. Spend a little time away from the orifice.
1. “Hello, this is President Clinton with an important message for young people…”
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]
