HI, MY NAME IS SIRIUS
BUT I WANT TO BE SIRIUS
SHIRLEY YOU CANT BE SIRIUS
Pun jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

Boss: How good are you at Power Point?
Me: I Excel at it
Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?
Me: Word

I’m sorry Ms. Jackson (ooo)
I am four eels
Never meant to make your daughter cry
BABY WAIT
I am several fish and not a guy

BEHOLD THE FIELD IN WHICH I GROW MY FUCKS LOOK THOU VPON IT AND THOU SHALT SEE THAT IT IS BARREN.
I’ve decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because the weights are too heavy.
I just handed in my too weak notice.