Joke Type: pun
Pun jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Couldn’t see himself wearing them
Why did the short-sighted vampire refuse to get glasses?
He just couldn’t see himself wearing them. -
The difference was staggering
I compared how I walked down the street drunk vs sober.
The difference was staggering. -
When Poetry Fails: Johnny’s Unique Strategy
Little Johnny was in school and his English teacher had the students write short poems.
When everyone was done, she asked the students to read them for the class.
Little Jeremy: “I took a walk down by the lake and there I saw a long brown snake.”
Very good Jeremy!
Little Susie: “My oh my! I looked to the sky, and there I saw a butterfly.”
Very good Susie!
Little Johnny: “I couldn’t think of one.”
Teacher. “You go out in the hall and let me know once you do!”
Little Johnny goes and sits in the hall. He’s looking around and figures one out.
He jestures to the teacher who comes and asks him what his poem is.
“As I sat out in the hall, a big cockroach ran up the wall.”
The teacher wasn’t pleased, because she knew Johnny just loved slipping in curse words, but said “Ok, but leave cock out of it.”
Little Johnny comes back in front of the class and reads his poem:
“As I sat out in the hall, I saw a roach run up the wall. With his cock out!”
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Paddy O’Furniture: The All-Nighter Legend!
Did you hear the one about the Irishman that stayed out all night?
Paddy O’Furniture! -
High Maintenance? I’m Outta Here!
I had a fling with a lady janitor, she was always stoned so I had to break it off with her…
I’m just not into high maintenance women! -
Leprechauns: Always a Little Short on Cash!
Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
Because they’re always a little short.
