You know when you send a stupid email, then have to immediately send another saying, “Oops, I hit send too soon!”? Well, I like to instead write, “Oops, I was playing with my clit and clicked the wrong button!” That way, they totally forget about the stupid email.
Joke Type: shock value
Shock value jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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So which is worse: Telling your wife that her 86-year-old great
So which is worse: Telling your wife that her 86-year-old great aunt “accidentally” touched your junk when you were pity-dancing with her at the wedding reception, or that you cut off your johnson with a plastic knife in the reception hall’s bathroom in order to make sure such a nightmarish vignette never plays out again?
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Those damn IT security Nazis! What I do in my free time with my
Those damn IT security Nazis! What I do in my free time with my laptop is between me and the cleaning lady who digs the tissues out of my trash bin.
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The problem with being a scat freak with a cold is that nobody
The problem with being a scat freak with a cold is that nobody knows what to think when you tell them you feel like fucking shit.
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Of all the movie lines I’ve quoted in an effort to pick up a
Of all the movie lines I’ve quoted in an effort to pick up a guy, City Slickers’ “I shit bigger than you” is probably my least successful.
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that end in loud, intense orgasms — all while wearing my granny
that end in loud, intense orgasms — all while wearing my granny panties.
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Something tells me it’s not a good thing when the hooker first
Something tells me it’s not a good thing when the hooker first tells you there’s “absolutely no way” she’ll do anal, then sees your penis and says, “Oh, with THAT? Sure. No problem.”
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Isn’t it funny that the grandmother in “Little Red Riding Hood”
Isn’t it funny that the grandmother in “Little Red Riding Hood” was upset about being eaten by the wolf? There are people who strategically place peanut butter on their genitalia to try to entice the same effect out of household pets. Just sayin’.
