Wordplay Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Come Forth and Receive

And Jesus said unto his disciples, “Come forth, and you shall receive everlasting life…”

Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.

But John came fifth and received a set of steak knives.

Peter came last and had to eat the biscuit.

I’ve just been pulled over by a police officer. He saw my license and said I’m supposed to be wearing glasses. I said I have contacts.

He said he didn’t care who I knew.

What did Earth say to the other planets?

Wow, you guys have no life.

I thought the audience was throwing tomato sauce at the tango dancer, but it was actually salsa.

I grilled a chicken for two hours…

Still wouldn’t tell me why it crossed the road.

My wife left me because I have an unhealthy obsession with Africa.

Kenya believe it?!

English puns make me feel numb but math puns make me feel number.

I keep forgetting the difference between etymology and entomology…

…and words cannot describe how much this bugs me.