Quick tip for those who are struggling with English:
Don’t = Do not
Won’t = Wo not
Stay tuned for more tips.
Joke Type: wordplay
Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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A Pirated Copy
My friend said his favorite Star Wars quote was, “Aargh Luke, ye scurvy dog, I be yer father.”
I think he got a pirated copy.
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Jose at the Ballgame
A young Mexican man named Jose was curious about America so he snuck across the border.
He wanted to go see a baseball game so when he went home, he could tell his family all about it. When he got there, the game was sold out, so he decided to climb to the top of a flag pole to get a better look. When he returned home, his family was anxious to hear about his experience:
“What happened?” asked his family.
“Well, America is the nicest place in the world!!” he said. “Before the game started, all the people in the stands and all the players stood up, looked at me and said, ‘Jose, can you see?’”
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I Have Contacts
I’ve just been pulled over by a police officer. He saw my license and said I’m supposed to be wearing glasses. I said I have contacts.
He said he didn’t care who I knew.
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You Guys Have No Life
What did Earth say to the other planets?
Wow, you guys have no life.
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It Was Actually Salsa
I thought the audience was throwing tomato sauce at the tango dancer, but it was actually salsa.
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Still Wouldn’t Tell Me Why It Crossed the Road
I grilled a chicken for two hours…
Still wouldn’t tell me why it crossed the road.
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Kenya Believe It
My wife left me because I have an unhealthy obsession with Africa.
Kenya believe it?!
