My buddy used to date a cross-eyed girl until he found out she was seeing someone on the side.
Joke Type: wordplay
Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
-
On the One Hand But On the Other
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts,’ which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.
-
It Tastes Like Ass
If you’ve never tried donkey meat, don’t bother.
It tastes like ass.
-
Easy Peasy Lemons Queasy
A pea, a lemon, and a potato were leaving a bar at the top of a very steep hill after a long night.
The pea, feeling quite energetic, shouted, “Lads! We’re all round—let’s just roll home!” and immediately shot down the hill.
The lemon wobbled after him, but his oval shape made him list violently from side to side, which did nothing for his unsettled stomach. The potato followed behind, trundling along slowly.
When the potato finally reached the bottom, he found the lemon leaning against a lamp post, looking very pale and clearly sick. The pea, however, was already jumping up and down. “That was brilliant! Let’s do it again!”
The potato looked at the lemon, then back at the pea, and said: “Easy peasy, lemon’s queasy.”
