katie @skatie420
[showing off my new baby] we named her after my grandmother, her name is Grandma.
7:48 AM · 20 Apr 22 · Twitter for iPhone
380 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 3,939 Likes
Joke Type: wordplay
Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Interview Biggest Weakness
Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years?
Me: I’d say my biggest weakness is listening.
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Sodium Joke NaBrO
Want to hear a joke about Sodium?
Na.
Want to hear a joke about Sodium Hypobromite?
NaBrO.
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You Aint Said Nothing About Meing and Meing
The minister, all fired up because of recent obvious problems of infidelity, shouted out, “I want everyone who has been heing and sheing to stand up!” Half of his congregation stood up.
He then shouted out, “I want everyone who has been heing and heing to stand up!” A couple of men stood up.
He then shouted out, “I want everyone who has been sheing and sheing to stand up!” Several women stood up. The minister looked over his congregation and noticed that everyone was standing except Little Johnny.
The minister shouted out, “Brothers and Sisters, look at Little Johnny, can he be the only one without sin? Little Johnny, stand up… I guess you are the only one here who isn’t preoccupied with sex and committing sins. What do you have to say!”
Little Johnny replied, “Reverend, you ain’t said nothing about meing and meing!”
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My Big Electric Bill
The other day, a homeless man asked me for a dollar.
I told him that I only carry big bills. He asked me for one of those, so I gave him my electric bill.
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She Can Only Fasten 8
The teacher asked her students to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Mary said, “My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted the word ‘fascinate’.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Good, but I wanted the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Johnny was noted for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten 8.”
