Me: omg I’m so tired from all that crossfit this morning
Friend: it’s pronounced croissant… and I’m not sure how you managed to eat 12
Joke Type: wordplay
Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Microsoft Office Pun
Boss: How good are you at Power Point?
Me: I Excel at it
Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?
Me: Word
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Jew In Oven
Carryout Orders:
76 LINDSEY – Now – Ready
78 MARTIN SCHMIDT – Now – Ready
79 LYNN MURRAY – Now – Ready
81 JEW – 4 minutes – In Oven
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Ms Jackson Four Eels
I’m sorry Ms. Jackson (ooo)
I am four eels
Never meant to make your daughter cry
BABY WAIT
I am several fish and not a guy
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Odyssey Named After
odysseus: we now set out on our odyssey.
sailor: [raising hand] what’s an odyssey?
odysseus: a long journey named after the only survivor.
sailor: oh ok wait what.
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Behold The Field Barren
BEHOLD THE FIELD IN WHICH I GROW MY FUCKS LOOK THOU VPON IT AND THOU SHALT SEE THAT IT IS BARREN.
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Too Weak Notice
I’ve decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because the weights are too heavy.
I just handed in my too weak notice.
