Joke Type: wordplay

Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Dirty Medical Humor: Adult Jokes Collection

    Q: What is the definition of wicker box?
    A: It’s what Elmer Fudd wants to do to Madonna.

    Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
    A: A bingo machine.

    Q: What do you call a Florida gynecologist?
    A: A spreader of old wives’ tails…

    Q: Why do women prefer old gynecologists?
    A: They have shaky hands!

    Q: What do you call a female midget who’s nice and gives head?
    A: Short, sweet, and to the point!

    Q: What do you get when you cross a vibrator with an anteater?
    A: An armadildo.

    Q: What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
    A: No one to talk to during orgasm.

    Q: What do Lifesavers do that a man can’t?
    A: Come in eight flavors.

    Q: What was the first obscenity ever heard on T.V.?
    A: “Ward, weren’t you a little hard on the Beaver last night?”

    Q: Do you know why it’s called sex?
    A: Because it’s easier to spell than Uhhhhh..oooohh…Ahhhhhh….AIIEEEEEEE!!!

    Q: What do you call a smiling Roman with pubic hair between his teeth?
    A: Gladiator! (Glad he ate her)

    Q: If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do you have?
    A: Divorce proceedings, most likely.

    Q: If you go to bed 9 hours before you have to wake up, and your wife wants to have 2 hours of sex, how much sleep will you get?
    A: 8 hours, 59 minutes – who cares what she wants!

    Q: What do you do in case of fallout?
    A: Put it back in and take shorter strokes!

    Q: Why do women have two holes so close together?
    A: In case you miss.

  • Not a Big Fan

    I hate it when people call me a windmill.

    I’m not a big fan.

  • Dismayed

    Someone ripped the 5th month out of my calendar.

    I’m dismayed.

  • Japanese Restaurant Chili

    Japanese Restaurant Chili

    Guy: Hey I’d like to have some chili

    Waitress: I’m sorry sir but this is a Japanese Restaurant

    Guy: *stretches his eyes* Herro, I’d rike to have some chiri

  • Rhyme for Statute of Limitations

    The imagery and emotion in my poems has been inspired by my life as a solitary traveler — the long, lonely road, the ever-distant horizon, my yearning to return home. I just wish I could come up with a rhyme for “statute of limitations.”

  • Lemons Painted Like Hand Grenades

    When life gives you lemons, paint them up like hand grenades and hijack a plane to Cuba.

  • LMFAO Discography

    LMFAO Discography

    lol i’d never checked out LMFAO’s full discography before

    Party Rock (2009)

    Sorry for Party Rocking (2011)

    We Were Going Through Some Stuff (2012)

    Mistakes Were Made (2014)

    We Are Always Growing and Learning (2015)

    We Will Strive To Do Better In Future (2017)

  • Dirty Riddles and Cheeky One-Liners

    How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
    Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!

    What did the Indian say when the white man tied his penis in a knot?
    “How come?”

    What’s the definition of a teenager?
    God’s punishment for enjoying sex.

    Did you hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
    They’ll never see you coming.

    What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
    S&M;&M.;

    What does Kodak film have in common with a condom?
    They both capture that special moment.

    Define Transvestite:
    A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!

    Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
    The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

    What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders?
    A scrotum pole!

    What’s the ultimate in rejection?
    When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

    Why don’t debutantes go to orgies?
    There’d be too many thank you notes to write.

    What is every Amish woman’s private fantasy?
    Two Mennonite!

    Why is sex like a game of bridge?
    If you have a good hand, you don’t need a partner.

    Can you say three two letter words that denote small?
    Is it in?

    What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
    A bingo machine.

    What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?
    One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.

  • Pig Latin Poet

    One of the perks of being a Pig Latin poet is that it’s pretty easy to come up with rhymes.

  • Ohio Owes Buddy Holly an Apology

    If Ohio is the birthplace of both aviation and rock and roll, I’d say they owe that Buddy Holly fella an apology.