What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated.
Joke Type: wordplay
Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Never Start Off on the Wrong Foot
Why is a double amputee happier than an able-bodied person?
Because they never start off on the wrong foot.
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Safety in Numb Bears
Most zoo dentists refuse to treat a grizzly without strong anesthesia first.
Because there’s safety in numb bears.
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The Tolkien White Guys
The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis, who played Gollum.
They’re the Tolkien white guys.
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Thinking Outside The Box Gary
(At my boss’s funeral kneeling and whispering at coffin)
“Who’s thinking outside the box now Gary?”
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Dear God Most Likely Yes
OFFICER: the victims were dismembered and sacrificed on an altar made of antlers
DETECTIVE: dear god
OFFICER: most likely yes
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Make It 52
At the store buying 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around and looked them in the eyes and said, ‘Make it 52.’
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They Prefer to Eat Out
Why don’t lesbians ever get their pizza delivered? They prefer to eat out.
