When people call me a “fucking idiot,” I consider it a compliment. After all, it’s my life’s ambition to do nothing but fuck like an idiot all day long.
Joke Type: wordplay
Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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I don’t think “It’s cumtastic!” was the compliment Sister Mary
I don’t think “It’s cumtastic!” was the compliment Sister Mary was looking for regarding her new cell phone.
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A fart is a wish your turd makes
A fart is a wish your turd makes.
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It kinda sucked when I learned that what I’d won in the charity
It kinda sucked when I learned that what I’d won in the charity raffle was literally a “liquor basket,” and didn’t have anything at all to do with the woman who sold me the ticket.
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What’s the difference between a bad and a filthy Rumination?
What’s the difference between a bad and a filthy Rumination? Fuck me if I know!
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Those taking the similes quiz at home will remember we asked you
Those taking the similes quiz at home will remember we asked you to finish the following: a) As old as _____. b) As heavy as _____. c) As cold as _____. The correct answers are as follows: a) shit. b) shit. c) fuck.
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“You have nothing to lose but inches!” certainly worked better
“You have nothing to lose but inches!” certainly worked better with girdle sales than it does with penis enhancement products.
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I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer,
I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer, because now I feel compelled to keep checking out his cock.
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No one was surprised when my flat-chested girlfriend discovered
No one was surprised when my flat-chested girlfriend discovered her family originates from the former Soviet republic of Nojugsistan.
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The good thing about my job in Staffing is that when I hire
The good thing about my job in Staffing is that when I hire people to fuck me, I can ask to re-interview them over and over.
