Joke Type: wordplay

Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Miced Onions

    It’s a good idea to pay close attention to the recipe when you cook. That way you won’t spend a whole day looking for miced onions.

  • Secretary of Defense

    If the top doctor and top lawyer are called the Surgeon General and the Attorney General, how come the person who heads up the military is called the Secretary of Defense? I suppose it’s because he can type really fast.

  • The Cola Wars

    Call me embittered, but I lost a mother and two brothers to the Cola Wars, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to lose my pop!

  • Molotov Was a Beer Drinker

    I’ve got ten dollars that says Molotov was a beer drinker.

  • Neither Repeating Nor Terminating

    My math teacher calls the 14th of March “Pi Day” because it’s 3/14. I celebrated by neither repeating nor terminating for the whole day.

  • Ajax Super Strong

    Ajax Super Strong

    I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla

  • Double Tap

    Double Tap

    Double tap on your screen

  • Demented Exhibitionist Guy

    I bet one of the hardest parts of being a superhero is remembering which phone booth you left your clothes in. And by “superhero,” what I mean is “demented-exhibitionist-guy.”

  • Dolly Parton Smothers Little Short Mann

    Suppose Dolly Parton married Tom Smothers, then divorced him and married Stuart Little, divorced him and married Martin Short, then divorced him and married Leslie Mann.

    Her name would be Dolly Parton Smothers Little Short Mann.