Wordplay Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

In a Nutshell

Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?

In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.

About a hundred years ago a couple brothers said they could fly.

They were Wright.

Did you know that the string section of an orchestra is the most dangerous?

It’s because of all the violins.

I was datin’ this girl from Eaton.

Or maybe it was the other way around and she was from Dayton.

A guy walks into a bar and sees three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the barman, “What’s up with the pieces of meat?”

The barman replies, “If you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks all night, but if you miss, you pay the whole bar’s tab.”

The man considers the challenge carefully and replies, “Nah, the steaks are too high.”

A midget is walking along a path when a beautiful blonde comes walking by in the other direction.

Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.

He says, “Hey beautiful, what do you say to a little fuck?”

And she says, “Hello, you little fuck.”

I went to a restaurant run by midgets and the service was terrible.

In their defense, they’re short staffed.

I went to a restaurant run by midgets and the service was terrible.

In their defense, they’re short staffed.

I told my wife I’m going to take us out to a nice restaurant this Halloween.

Wife: Which restaurant?

Me: No, I think it’s run by vampires.

I was at the dentist this afternoon for some impressions.

He does a good Johnny Carson but his Frank Sinatra is terrible.