I had to break up with my neurosurgeon girlfriend. She was messing with my head.
Joke Type: wordplay
Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
-
The Sax
I really want to break up with my jazz musician girlfriend, but I can’t.
The sax is too good.
-
Cold Calls
Someone just called my phone and sneezed, coughed, and then hung up.
I’m getting sick of these cold calls.
-
Eclipse Colander
I was told I could look at the eclipse through a colander.
I tried it, but it strained my eyes.
-
My Client Is Trapped Inside a Penny – He’s in a Cent – You’re Going to Jail With Him
Lawyer: my client is trapped inside a penny
Judge: what?
Lawyer: he’s in a cent
Judge: you’re going to jail with him
@baptain_brunch
-
Dr. B. Gee – Presumably Good at Helping People Stay Alive
PRESUMABLY GOOD AT HELPING PEOPLE STAY ALIVE
Dr. B. Gee.
-
Dog Food Lid Backwards Is Dildo of God – Skeletor Will Return Next Week
“DOG FOOD LID” BACKWARDS IS “DILDO OF GOD”.
SKELETOR WILL RETURN NEXT WEEK WITH MORE DISTURBING FACTS
-
I’m a Doctor in Mathematics – My Friend Is Dying – Minus One
– Do you have a doctor here?
– yes, I’m.
– What’s your specialty?
– I’m a doctor in Mathematics.
– My friend is dying.
– Minus one.
