Sensitivity: Clean

Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

Why is it that every single place I go smells like boogers?

Why is it that every single place I go smells like boogers?
Interesting bit of cultural trivia: The literal translation of the Japanese word

Interesting bit of cultural trivia: The literal translation of the Japanese word “karaoke” is: “look like a friggin’ idiot.”
I sometimes imagine myself as a cold-blooded python with massive rippling muscles,

I sometimes imagine myself as a cold-blooded python with massive rippling muscles, capable of suffocating and devouring large prey, yet burdened with a tiny brain. Occasionally it can be healthy for me to get in touch with my inner pro wrestler.
I finally went on an excursion with Celebrity Cruise Lines, and there was a whole lot

I finally went on an excursion with Celebrity Cruise Lines, and there was a whole lot less drunken hoohah-flashing than I’d hoped for.
I regret that I have but one life to give towards avoidance of military duty.

I regret that I have but one life to give towards avoidance of military duty.
No matter how much joy juice Bob drank at the company party, he couldn’t crack a smile,

No matter how much joy juice Bob drank at the company party, he couldn’t crack a smile, even once, because he had a secret: Bob was laughtose intolerant.
I always felt those Farm Aid concerts were an awesome idea because I know first-hand how

I always felt those Farm Aid concerts were an awesome idea because I know first-hand how tough it is being a small farmer these days — especially when the DEA keeps burning your crop before you can harvest.
If you can stay married to Bill Clinton, is there anything you can’t do?

If you can stay married to Bill Clinton, is there anything you can’t do? On the other hand, if you’re willing to stay married to Bill Clinton, is there anything you *won’t* do?
My grandmother taught my mother how to drive, and she, in turn, taught me.

My grandmother taught my mother how to drive, and she, in turn, taught me. Luckily, my mother didn’t also pass down the knowledge of how to get pregnant in the back seat, because some family traditions should just fade away.
Just as I was about to slip some more company pens and note pads into my pocket, that

Just as I was about to slip some more company pens and note pads into my pocket, that small inner voice stopped me, saying, “Jerry, don’t do that. It’s wrong.” Then it added, “Why don’t you kill everybody here instead?”