Sensitivity: Clean

Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

I’d like to see George Lucas use his sci-fi revisionism powers for good, like updating

I’d like to see George Lucas use his sci-fi revisionism powers for good, like updating that classic “Star Trek” episode to include a harmonica-playing Spock accompanying Captain Kirk on “Nobody Knows the Tribbles I’ve Seen.”
To me, the fascinating thing about the “infinite monkeys on infinite typewriters” thing

To me, the fascinating thing about the “infinite monkeys on infinite typewriters” thing is that, like the majority of human writers, mostly what they’d produce is dung.
Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, lady, well, shame on Lionel Richie.
I’m guessing typo.

I’m guessing typo. I mean, how much fun would a barrel of donkeys really be?
I’m thinking PBS would come out WAY ahead if they let me play the music and let James

I’m thinking PBS would come out WAY ahead if they let me play the music and let James Taylor and Carole King make the donations.
My research aimed to combine the 11 dimensions of current string theory with the 29

My research aimed to combine the 11 dimensions of current string theory with the 29 compatibility dimensions of eHarmony into a new theory of evolutionary human sexuality. Or it *would* have if the MacArthur Foundation hadn’t withdrawn support of my research grant after I included various brothels on the list of required lab facilities.
I should have read the label more carefully; it turns out when you buy “low fat” food

I should have read the label more carefully; it turns out when you buy “low fat” food products, all they do is move your cellulite to your ankles.
My wife ripped me a new one after she found out I peed in the shower.

My wife ripped me a new one after she found out I peed in the shower. Now I’ve got to get out of the house before she sees what I did in the bathtub.
I think it’s pretty pointless to pee in the shower to save water by flushing the toilet

I think it’s pretty pointless to pee in the shower to save water by flushing the toilet less. The real savings are generated by BATHING in the toilet.
Can you buy those hotel “Do not disturb” signs?

Can you buy those hotel “Do not disturb” signs? I want one to wear as a necklace.