I’m never quite certain just how to celebrate Ambiguity Awareness Day.
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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“Imagine there’s no Heather.
“Imagine there’s no Heather. It’s easy if you try.” Those are fun breakup song lyrics for .17% of the population, according to census data.
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I am not getting fat.
I am not getting fat. I am simply carb-loading for the “Father of Teens” marathon that will be my life for the next decade or so.
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Etsy: Proof we really need waiting periods and background checks before letting someone
Etsy: Proof we really need waiting periods and background checks before letting someone buy a glue gun.
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My mother always told me there would be days like this.
My mother always told me there would be days like this. I found it very annoying, because she never gave us a “spoiler warning” before telling us stuff like that. Sometimes it’s nice to be surprised.
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I recently entered the National Pathological Liars Contest — and WON!
I recently entered the National Pathological Liars Contest — and WON! Then again, all the entrants claimed they won.
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The good news: I passed my sobriety test!
The good news: I passed my sobriety test! The bad news: I was so happy, I tried to hug the cop and I got tased.
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Is it a good or bad thing to have a breakout session during a dermatology conference?
Is it a good or bad thing to have a breakout session during a dermatology conference?
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When I’m at Wal-Mart and see all those products that are allegedly made by children, I
When I’m at Wal-Mart and see all those products that are allegedly made by children, I get depressed. My kids can’t even make their own beds.
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I was so excited to finally earn my mile-high club card, until it dawned on me that I’d
I was so excited to finally earn my mile-high club card, until it dawned on me that I’d booked my flight on Virgin Airlines. Dammit!
