Putting broccoli in my omelette is like garnishing my hot fudge sundae with a pubic hair. /@rmfnord
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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This Denver Omelet has too much John and not enough Bob in it.
This Denver Omelet has too much John and not enough Bob in it. /@b0nrmunky
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I just saw a possum riding an armadillo.
I just saw a possum riding an armadillo. I don’t know if I should call animal control or start my own backyard circus.
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Personally, I’m just thankful there’s no deviant politician named Anthony Bunghole who
Personally, I’m just thankful there’s no deviant politician named Anthony Bunghole who likes to send nudie pics of his namesake.
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His muscle pressed hard against his trousers like a burly midget trapped in a burlap
His muscle pressed hard against his trousers like a burly midget trapped in a burlap sack… Erotic fiction is not easy. /@b0nrmunky
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I wish I’d penned a song titled, “I Write The Songs That Make the Whole World Want to
I wish I’d penned a song titled, “I Write The Songs That Make the Whole World Want to Stick Scissors in Their Ears and Come After the Singer With Torches and Pitchforks,” because I’m pretty sure that Wikipedia would make a page entry about that guy.
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I’m walking through one of Japan’s first Costcos with a tear in my eye, taking a last
I’m walking through one of Japan’s first Costcos with a tear in my eye, taking a last glance at Japanese women’s fit, slender butts. /@b0nrmunky
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Everyone talks about the world’s great injustices, but no one’s mentioning how I’ve been
Everyone talks about the world’s great injustices, but no one’s mentioning how I’ve been stuck on this level of Candy Crush for a week now. /@rmfnord
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Like many parents of young daughters, I wrestled with how to address the subject of
Like many parents of young daughters, I wrestled with how to address the subject of Miley Cyrus’ risque performance. Should proactively admonish the singer’s actions as vulgar, or should I simply wait to see what she thought of the performance? Thankfully, she let me off the hook by throwing her sippy cup and indicating her pants needed changing.
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Hey girl, these flowers are my way of saying, “There was a guy selling flowers at a
Hey girl, these flowers are my way of saying, “There was a guy selling flowers at a stoplight and I thought I could get laid for ten bucks.” /@rmfnord
