The doctor says I’m allergic to artificial flowers. I asked him for a cure and he prescribed me a placebo.
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I heard a joke that someone dreamed they were eating a cloud and woke up missing a pillow.
I heard a joke that someone dreamed they were eating a cloud and woke up missing a pillow. At least I hope it was a joke cause I’m having a hard time locating the cat and last night I dreamed I was eating Chinese food.
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I have to admit, I felt kind of ripped off when I couldn’t see any scrub brush- bottomed
I have to admit, I felt kind of ripped off when I couldn’t see any scrub brush- bottomed bubble dudes spraying out of the bathroom cleaner can. Guess I need to huff it a little deeper next time.
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A lot of guys complain about all the glitter at strip clubs, but I like it.
A lot of guys complain about all the glitter at strip clubs, but I like it. It makes me feel so pretty when I’m swinging on that pole.
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I look better if you don’t look right at me.
I look better if you don’t look right at me. I have an inner beauty that works best out of the corner of your eye. Jody LaFerrier
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The best part about my birthday being on a weekday is having my co-workers seek me out
The best part about my birthday being on a weekday is having my co-workers seek me out and congratulate me. Or maybe word just got around about the monstrous, pretzel-shaped steamer I was able to drop across the boss’ keyboard.
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It looks like I picked a bad time to introduce my new beverage, Ecola.
It looks like I picked a bad time to introduce my new beverage, Ecola.
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They’re trying to revoke Adrian Peterson’s bail for smoking pot, which is dumb because
They’re trying to revoke Adrian Peterson’s bail for smoking pot, which is dumb because he’d be easier to catch if he tried to run while stoned.
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I can’t decide if my book about ponies on heroin should be called “Horses Do Horse, Of
I can’t decide if my book about ponies on heroin should be called “Horses Do Horse, Of Course, Of Course” or “They Shoot Up Horses, Don’t They?”
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Hey hey!
Hey hey! Looks like I’m the first person to get out of a speeding ticket faking Ebola! Anyone know a good drycleaners?
