Americans will use anything but the metric system
242 DICKS
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Without a Tres
There was a Mexican magician. He said he’d disappear on the count of three. He said uno, dos, *poof*… he disappeared without a tres.
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Never Heard of Herbivore
I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants.
You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.
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I Already Have That One
I’m addicted to collecting Beatles Albums
It sounds like you need help
No, I already have that one
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Plant Your Potatoes, Dad
An old farmer wrote to his son in prison.
“This year I won’t be able to plant potatoes because I can’t dig the field. I know if you were here you would help me.”
The son wrote back, “Dad, don’t even think of digging the field because that’s where I buried the money I stole.”
Police read the letter and the very next day the whole field was dug up by the police looking for the money, but nothing was found.
The next day the son wrote again, “Now plant your potatoes, Dad. It’s the best I can do from here.”
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Deer Priorities
Deer when they hear a twig snap within a 3 mile radius
Deer when a 25,000 lb semi truck is barreling at them at 80mph
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Searched So Thoroughly Gold Watch
ewilliams1: They searched him so thoroughly, they found a gold watch.
