Somebody just threw a jar of mayonnaise at me.
I was like: “What the Hellman!”
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Reading Cereal Boxes
When I was a kid, there were no phones or tablets. We read cereal boxes at breakfast
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A Bear Walks Into a Bar
Bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender: “One whiskey and …………… one coke.”
“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender.
“I don’t know, I was born with them,” says the bear.
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The Coronavirus Stockpile
When it’s only been 48
hours and you’ve eaten
your entire coronavirus
stockpile -
A Toddler’s Promise
My 3 year old asked how long he had
to wait until he could stop listening to
me. I told him he had to listen to me for
the rest of his life. He looked me dead
in the eyes and said, “I’ll listen to you
for the rest of YOUR life.” Toddlers are
cold-blooded, man. -
Starfish Have Mouths in the Middle of Their Bodies
Starfish have mouths in
the middle of their bodies
Yeah so
what
Mermaids use
them as bras
