Just updated the experience section on my resume after I helped my Wiccan neighbor bury her pee jars.
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
Killing It on Harmonica
me: [absolutely killing it on harmonica]
taco bell cashier: are you gonna order
-
Indestructible Walls Kool-Aid
fishy @fishbowel
Me: I love my new indestructible walls I just wish I had some kool-aid
*audible thud outside house*
Me: what was that
-
Sweet Car Online
I just heard that Neil Diamond has sold his car on eBay…
It’s a sweet car online.
-
Wrong on So Many Levels
Did you hear about the elevator operator that kept making mistakes?
He was wrong on so many levels.
-
The Skyscraper
A country guy visits New York City for the first time. He’s staring up at a tall skyscraper, quietly counting the floors.
A New Yorker notices and says, “Hey, buddy — around here, it’s a dollar for every floor you count.”
The country guy nods.
After a moment, the New Yorker asks, “So, how many floors did you count?”
“Ten,” the country guy says, handing over $10.
The New Yorker smirks and walks off.
A moment later, the country guy chuckles to himself and says, “Joke’s on him… I counted twenty.”
-
A Brief Job
I worked as an underwear model…
It was just a brief job.
-
Betty White So Old
Renowned Philanthropist @SortaBad
Betty White is so old she starred on a 7-season TV show about being old that went off the air before most of you were born
