Dark humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
A father came home and found his 8-year-old boy sitting on the front porch smoking a cigar. He marched up to the lad, removed the cigar from the boy’s mouth and said, “I suppose you’re going to tell me that you’re sitting there smoking that cigar because you just became a father.”
“Hell no, Dad,” said the boy, “Cindy ain’t even reached puberty yet.”
A guy develops a really bad infection on his penis. Like, seriously bad. He goes to multiple doctors, even the expensive ones, and they all tell him the same thing: it has to be amputated or the infection could spread and kill him. Eventually, he gives up and accepts his fate. Surgery is scheduled.
Then his cousin hears about it and says, “Wait, before you do that, you should try this famous oriental doctor. People swear by him.” Out of desperation, the guy goes.
He explains, “Doc, I’ve seen a lot of western doctors already. They all say it needs to be cut off before the infection spreads.”
The doctor nods, tells him to take off his pants, and starts examining everything very carefully. Feeling, pressing, lifting… full inspection.
After a while, the doctor smiles and says, “Good news!”
The guy lights up. “Really? So you don’t need to cut it off?”
The doctor waves his hand and says, “No, no. We are not like western doctors. They always cut, cut, cut… then charge, charge, charge!”
The guy is relieved. “So I’m safe?”
The doctor nods confidently. “Yes. No need to cut.”
The guy almost cries from happiness. “Thank you, Doc! So what’s the treatment?”
The doctor shrugs and says, “We wait two weeks.”
The guy pauses. “And then?”
The doctor smiles. “It fall off by itself.”
What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
