Man, did I ever screw up with my Craigslist ad. My adventurous girlfriend asked me to organize a gangbang for her; now how the hell do I get all these Crips and Bloods out of my apartment?
Sensitivity: Dark
Dark humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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You know that feeling you’ve experienced something before, only
You know that feeling you’ve experienced something before, only it’s not *exactly* the same as you remember? Well the prostitute told me we should call it a “déjà do-over,” right before she noted that when we were college classmates together, she was a man.
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If I could be young again, I’d become a Flamenco dancer. High
If I could be young again, I’d become a Flamenco dancer. High school beatings only last four years, but I’d have decades of pussy.
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I got my super power the same way Spider-Man did. Except instead
I got my super power the same way Spider-Man did. Except instead of my hand, I got bit on my cock. And instead of a radioactive spider, it was a cheap hooker. And my “power” is Hepatitis C. Other than that though, it’s exactly the same.
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“Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” has a very different meaning for
“Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” has a very different meaning for those into scat.
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You know it’s time to find a new boyfriend when you tell him
You know it’s time to find a new boyfriend when you tell him you’re feeling sick and he responds with, “So I guess anal’s a ‘no-go’ then?”
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The best thing about solitary confinement: Nobody walks in while
The best thing about solitary confinement: Nobody walks in while I’m masturbating.
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If you can’t tell the difference between my erect penis and a
If you can’t tell the difference between my erect penis and a pocketed banana, why the hell should I be happy?
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Judging from all the gagging and vomiting, I’m guessing the
Judging from all the gagging and vomiting, I’m guessing the other passengers had never seen somebody eat a bunch of melted Reese’s cups before. At least not out of a diaper.
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The new guy I’m dating is going to be so happy about his
The new guy I’m dating is going to be so happy about his birthday present. It was a no-brainer, though, getting him water skis, since he he’s been telling me for weeks he’s into watersports.
