People think I’m some sort of sexual superhero. But I put on my latex barbed-wired crotchless panties one leg at a time, just like everyone else.
Sensitivity: Dark
Dark humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I saved some $5,000 in potential counseling bills trying to cure
I saved some $5,000 in potential counseling bills trying to cure my scat fetish, and all it took was having to change my twin nieces’ diapers over the holiday weekend.
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Poor Mrs. Claus. Her only options for hot sex involve an old
Poor Mrs. Claus. Her only options for hot sex involve an old obese guy, dozens of guys with one-inch cocks, and a herd of oddly named deer.
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I didn’t mind giving my BF a shot at Reverse Cowgirl, I just
I didn’t mind giving my BF a shot at Reverse Cowgirl, I just wish he hadn’t felt the need to brand my ass during the act.
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(Tim H. Richweis) The biggest difference between my clitoris and
(Tim H. Richweis) The biggest difference between my clitoris and Osama bin Laden is that a guy actually found Osama bin Laden.
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I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, I’m just saying I
I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, I’m just saying I should probably be able to tell the difference between fucking and acupuncture.
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Man, did I ever screw up with my Craigslist ad. My adventurous
Man, did I ever screw up with my Craigslist ad. My adventurous girlfriend asked me to organize a gangbang for her; now how the hell do I get all these Crips and Bloods out of my apartment?
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You know that feeling you’ve experienced something before, only
You know that feeling you’ve experienced something before, only it’s not *exactly* the same as you remember? Well the prostitute told me we should call it a “déjà do-over,” right before she noted that when we were college classmates together, she was a man.
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If I could be young again, I’d become a Flamenco dancer. High
If I could be young again, I’d become a Flamenco dancer. High school beatings only last four years, but I’d have decades of pussy.
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I got my super power the same way Spider-Man did. Except instead
I got my super power the same way Spider-Man did. Except instead of my hand, I got bit on my cock. And instead of a radioactive spider, it was a cheap hooker. And my “power” is Hepatitis C. Other than that though, it’s exactly the same.
