My grief councillor died last week.
Luckily for me, though, he was very good at his job, because I really don’t give a shit.
Sensitivity: Dark
Dark humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Anatomy Class: A Taste for the Unusual
Some first-year medical students were attending their first anatomy class.
They gathered around a table where a real dead body had been placed for study. The professor began by telling them that every good doctor must have two important qualities.
“The first,” he said, “is that a doctor must never be disgusted by anything in the human body.”
To demonstrate, he inserted his finger into the dead body’s anus, then put the finger in his mouth and tasted it. He then asked the students to repeat what he had done.
The students were shocked and hesitated for several minutes, but eventually, one by one, they did the same thing. Each of them inserted a finger into the body’s anus and then tasted it.
When everyone had finished, they stood there frowning and looking uncomfortable.
The professor looked at them and smiled. “The second most important quality of a doctor,” he said, “is observation.”
“I inserted my middle finger,” he continued, “but I tasted my index finger.”
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Handshakes: Cannibals’ Party Starter!
What do cannibals serve at the start of a party?
Handshakes. -
Love on the Move: Dating Without Ties
The great thing about dating a homeless woman is you can just drop her off anywhere.
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Heavenly Lines and Unholy Punchlines
An old Jewish man dies and is waiting in line at the pearly gates.
The line is very long. He says out loud, “Oy, what’s with the holdup? The last time I was in a line this long, it was at Auschwitz. And at least then there was the promise of a shower at the end!”
God appears from the clouds and says, “I do not like that joke.”
The man shrugs and says, “Oy, I guess you just had to be there.”
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Never Forget: A Witty Reminder
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said you’d never forget!!! -
Deadly Green Furry Pool Table Surprise!
What’s green and furry and has four legs and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you’ll die?
A pool table. -
Two hunters
Two hunters were out in the woods when one of them suddenly collapsed.
The other grabbed his phone, called emergency services, and yelled, “Help! We were out hunting, and I think my buddy’s dead! What do I do?!”
The operator said calmly, “All right, sir. First, make sure he’s dead.”
There was a pause… then two gunshots.
The hunter came back on the line and said, “Okay — now what?”
