Sensitivity: Dark

Dark humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Back at work tomorrow

    A morgue worker died today.
    But he’ll be back at work tomorrow.

  • Here comes the second one

    How do terrorists feed their children?
    “Here comes the airplane.”
    “Here comes the second one.”

  • Just one nail

    What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
    You can hang the picture with just one nail.

  • Bench of Bizarre Disorders

    A sadist, a masochist, a necrophile, a murderer, a zoophile, and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “Let’s have sex with the cat,” says the zoophile.

    “Let’s have sex with the cat and then torture it,” says the sadist.

    “Let’s have sex with the cat, torture it, and then kill it,” says the murderer.

    “Let’s have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, and then have sex with it again,” says the necrophile.

    “Let’s have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again, and then burn it,” says the pyromaniac.

    There was a silence. Then the masochist said, “Meow.”

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  • It was a good trade

    I got a refrigerator for my wife today.
    It was a good trade.

  • Farting in the Fast Lane!

    A woman walks into a car dealership to browse around, not really planning to buy anything. In the showroom, she sees a beautiful convertible with a leather interior. She reaches down to touch the seat and accidentally lets a fart go.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    To her terror, she looks up and sees a salesman heading her way. Hoping he didn’t hear her, she plays it cool and says, “Excuse me, how much is this car? I’m thinking of purchasing it for my husband.”

    The salesman says, “Lady, if you farted from touching the leather, you’re gonna shit when you hear the price.”

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  • Priests’ Misunderstanding Hits a Dark Note

    A cop pulls over a car with two priests. The cop makes his way up to the window and says, “We’re looking for two child molesters.”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The priests look at each other for a moment and turn back to the cop.

    “We’ll do it.”

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  • Finding Happiness After Twenty Years Together

    My husband and I were happy for 20 years.
    And then we met.

  • Punchline Abort: A Comedy’s Moral Dilemma

    I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.

  • Hold the Ladder: Last Words of Wisdom

    I’ll never forget my granddad’s last words to me before he died:
    “Are you still holding the ladder?”