Sensitivity: PG-13
Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Duct Tape: The Ultimate Duck Catcher!
An old man is sitting on his porch and sees a kid walking by carrying a roll of duct tape.
The old guy yells out, “Hey kid! Where are you going with that duct tape?”
“Gonna catch me some ducks!” says the kid.
“What? You can’t catch ducks with duct tape!” he yells back, but the kid continues on his way.
A couple hours later, the kid is walking back the other way, carrying four ducks wrapped up in duct tape. The old man can’t believe it.
The next day, the old guy is sitting on his porch again and sees the kid walking by. This time, he’s got a roll of chicken wire under his arm.
The old guy yells out, “Hey kid! Where are you going with that chicken wire?”
“Gonna catch me some chickens!” says the kid.
“Seriously? You can’t catch chickens with chicken wire!” he yells back, but once again the kid just continues on his way.
Later that day, the kid walks back the other way and, sure enough, he’s got a half-dozen chickens wrapped up in the chicken wire. The old guy is astounded.
The next day, once again, the old guy is sitting out on his porch and sees the kid walking in front of his house.
He yells out, “Hey kid, what’ve you got under your arm there?”
“Pussywillow!” says the kid.
“…Hang on, I’ll go get my hat.”
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It must be the cobblestone
Two nuns are riding their bicycles through the village. One says, “I’ve never come this way before.”
The other replies, “Me neither. It must be the cobblestone.” -
Curious Minds in the Park
A boy and his father are walking in the park.
The boy sees a male dog mounting a female dog. He asks his dad, “Dad, what are they doing?”
Dad thinks for a second and says, “Well, son, they’re making a puppy.”
This satisfies the boy’s curiosity, and they finish their walk.
Later that night, the boy gets up for a drink of water. He passes his parents’ room, and they’ve carelessly left the door ajar. They’re face-to-face in the throes of passion.
The little boy asks, “Dad, what are you and Mommy doing?”
The startled dad hesitates for a second, looks up, and says, “Well, son, we’re making you a baby brother.”
And the kid says, “Well then, can you turn Mommy over? I’d rather have a puppy.”
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A pain in the ass
My wife and I tried anal.
She loved it, but for me, it was a pain in the ass. -
Best wingman ever
I asked my best friend to be my wingman and boast about me while I was talking to a girl I like.
It backfired horribly when he told her I’m the best sex he ever had.
