Sassy Little Jenny tilts her head and asks, “Mom, what’s that?” as she points at her silver vibrator.
Mom sighs and says, “It’s a toy for grown-ups.”
Jenny smirks and goes, “So why do you hide it every time Dad comes home?”
Tone: cheeky
Cheeky humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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A Royal Flush Beats a Pair
Dolly Parton and King Charles happened to arrive at the Pearly Gates on the very same day.
They were greeted by an angel who explained that, due to a paperwork mix-up, there was only one opening available in Heaven that afternoon.
“I’m afraid I’ll have to decide which one of you gets in,” the angel said.
The angel turned to Dolly and asked if there was any special reason she should be admitted.
Dolly smiled, took off her top and said, “Look at these, they’re two of God’s most perfect creations and I’m sure it will please Him to be able to see them every day, for eternity.”
The angel thanked her politely and then asked King Charles the same question.
Without saying a word, the King walked over to a nearby restroom, pressed the handle, and flushed the toilet.
The angel immediately turned and said, “Your Majesty, welcome to Heaven.”
Dolly stared in disbelief and said, “Hold on just a minute. I showed you two of God’s own perfect creations and you turned me down, and he just flushed a toilet. How does that make sense?”
The angel shrugged and replied, “Sorry, Dolly, but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair every time.”
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If Men Rewrote The Rules
If Men Rewrote The Rules.
Rule # 1 – Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
Rule # 2 – If you don’t want to dress like Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
Rule # 3 – If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
Rule # 4 – It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.
Rule # 5 – Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?
Rule # 6 – Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.
Rule # 7 – You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done – not both.
Rule # 8 – Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Rule # 9 – Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions and neither do we.
Rule # 10 – Women who wear Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
Rule # 11 – When we’re turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying “This is our exit” is not necessary.
Rule # 12 – Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.
