Clever Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Trump Dodges Draft Beer Attack!

Somebody threw a beer at Donald Trump today
Don’t worry, it was a draft. He was able to dodge it.

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience.
The second time let me down.

I thought my wife was joking when she said she’d leave me if I didn’t stop singing “I’m a Believer.”
Then I saw her face.

Why do scuba divers fall backward into the water?
Because if they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.

My wife took everything from me in the divorce. Including my expensive shoes.
She has sole custody.

A woman is accused of beating her husband half to death with his guitar collection.

The judge looks down at her and asks, “First offender?”

The woman replies, “nope, first a Martin, then a Gibson, then a Fender.”

My father ran the marathon but my mother ran the 100 meter dash so I grew up with mixed race parents.

Common sense is like deodorant… the people who need it most never use it.