Tone: Clever
Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
Named Her Grandma
katie @skatie420
[showing off my new baby] we named her after my grandmother, her name is Grandma.
7:48 AM · 20 Apr 22 · Twitter for iPhone
380 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 3,939 Likes
-
Interview Biggest Weakness
Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years?
Me: I’d say my biggest weakness is listening.
-
Sodium Joke NaBrO
Want to hear a joke about Sodium?
Na.
Want to hear a joke about Sodium Hypobromite?
NaBrO.
-
You Aint Said Nothing About Meing and Meing
The minister, all fired up because of recent obvious problems of infidelity, shouted out, “I want everyone who has been heing and sheing to stand up!” Half of his congregation stood up.
He then shouted out, “I want everyone who has been heing and heing to stand up!” A couple of men stood up.
He then shouted out, “I want everyone who has been sheing and sheing to stand up!” Several women stood up. The minister looked over his congregation and noticed that everyone was standing except Little Johnny.
The minister shouted out, “Brothers and Sisters, look at Little Johnny, can he be the only one without sin? Little Johnny, stand up… I guess you are the only one here who isn’t preoccupied with sex and committing sins. What do you have to say!”
Little Johnny replied, “Reverend, you ain’t said nothing about meing and meing!”
-
My Big Electric Bill
The other day, a homeless man asked me for a dollar.
I told him that I only carry big bills. He asked me for one of those, so I gave him my electric bill.
-
If You Drink Gin You Wont Have Worms
A science teacher set up a simple experiment to show her class the danger of alcohol. She set up 2 glasses, one containing water, the other containing gin. Into each she dropped a worm.
The worm in the water swam merrily around. The worm in the gin quickly died.
“What does this experiment prove?” she asked.
Little Johnny from the back row piped up: “It proves that if you drink gin you won’t have worms.”
-
But Then There Wouldnt Be a Siren
A little boy, wearing a big red fire hat, was riding a toy fire truck down the street. The truck was being pulled by a beautiful Labrador Retriever. Unfortunately, the rope was tied around the dog’s privates, and as a consequence, the truck was going very slowly.
A man walking down the street noticed how slowly the boy was being pulled and gently said to him, “You know, son, that truck would go a lot faster if the rope was tied around your dog’s neck.”
The boy nodded in agreement and said, “But then there wouldn’t be a siren.”
