Tone: Clever

Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Childless Men Can’t Tell Dad Jokes

    Why can’t childless men tell dad jokes?

    They aren’t kidding.

  • Four Months Vacation and Five Good Leads

    A guy at confession says to the priest: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.”

    The priest asks, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?”

    “Yes, Father, it is.”

    “And who was the girl you were with?”

    “I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”

    “Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?”

    “I cannot say.”

    “Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?”

    “I’ll never tell.”

    “Was it Nina Capelli?”

    “I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”

    “Was it Cathy Piriano?”

    “My lips are sealed.”

    “Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?”

    “Please, Father, I cannot tell you.”

    The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.”

    Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”

    “Four months vacation and five good leads!”

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  • Sperm Bank Towel

    Sperm Bank Towel

    The moment you realize a sperm bank pays a shot……

    …and you have a towel worth $1800 at home

  • Britain Colonised The Universe

    Britain Colonised The Universe

    When you realise everyone in the Marvel Universe speaks English, which means that Britain must’ve colonised the entire universe

    *Laughs in British*

  • First Cell Mitosis

    First Cell Mitosis

    The first cell that underwent mitosis must have been like

  • Gas Prices Furious

    Gas Prices Furious

    WHEN GAS PRICES GET SO HIGH THAT YOU CAN ONLY AFFORD TO BE FURIOUS

  • Sensitive Data

    Sensitive Data

    Rule 1: Never publicly share sensitive Data over the Internet

  • Short Notice

    My son’s doctor called in a panic and exclaimed, “You need to get to my office immediately! I have dire news.” Very worried, I rushed over to find out what was so critical.

    When I arrived, he explained, “After a careful review of your son’s charts, I believe that he won’t grow past five feet tall. I’m very sorry to have to deliver this bad news.”

    I ask, “OK, but why was this such an emergency? Couldn’t this meeting have waited a few days?”

    He answered, “I thought you want to know now, although I’m sorry about the short notice.”

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  • Stephen King Has a Son Named Joe

    Stephen King has a son named Joe.

    I’m not joking, but he is.

  • Five Guys

    Five Guys

    I DON’T THINK THERE’S ACTUALLY FIVE GUYS IN THIS.