Tone: Clever

Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Maximum Concentration

    Maximum Concentration

    For maximum concentration

  • Spiderman Eats Thieves

    Spiderman Eats Thieves

    Spider-Man Spider-Man

    Does whatever a spider can

    Spins a web Any size

    Catches thieves Eats those guys

    Hey wait Don’t do that Spider-Man

  • Girl Without Arms Bed

    Girl Without Arms Bed

    Just remember that somewhere out there, a girl without arms… is trying to make her bed.

  • IRS Agent Gets Robbed of His Own Money

    A man is walking on the sidewalk at night when suddenly he’s attacked by a mugger.

    Mugger: “Give me all of your money!”

    Man: “Do you know who I am?! I work for the IRS!”

    Mugger: “Oh? Well in that case, give me all of MY money!”

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  • 500 Votes Per Boob Electoral College

    Well, another election in my household has passed and the results are in: The Sex-Every-Sunday Referendum was defeated soundly, 1000-1. I knew agreeing to the 500-vote-per-boob Electoral College would come back to haunt me.

  • Tonto Kowalski, Nice to Meet You

    A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics.

    He asks her about it and she replies, “This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What’s yours?”

    He coolly replies, “Tonto Kowalski, nice to meet you.”

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  • The Clapper and the Mime

    Does the Clapper still turn the lights on if a mime is doing the clapping?

  • Magazines, Not Relationships: A Therapy Session

    David goes to see a therapist. During the session, the therapist asks, “How is your sex life?”

    “I have a lot of issues with sex,” David replies.

    “What kind of issues?” the therapist asks.

    “Oh, mostly Hustler, and Penthouse.”

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  • Sex Life Scored by Guessing Game Results

    Instructions: For each answer, you will have three clues. Try to determine what the object or thing is that is being described. For every correct answer you give, give yourself 2 points, for every incorrect answer deduct 2 points. If you score less than 14 points, you are in need of more sex. If you score between 14 points and 21 points, you are in need of more love. If you score over 21 points, you are classed as having a great sex experience.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Now please begin.

    “CLUES”

    1. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

    2. I’m spread before I’m eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes lick my nuts.

    3. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I’m called a big swinger.

    4. Over 1,000 people went down on me. I wasn’t maiden for long. A big hard thing ripped me open.

    5. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

    6. When I go in I cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole.

    7. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.

    8. All day long, it’s in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me.

    9. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard.

    10. If I miss, I hit your bush. It’s my job to stuff your box. When I come, it’s news.

    11. I offer Protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off.

    12. I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

    13. My business is briefs. I am a cunning linguist. I plead and plead for it.

    Answers:

    1. nose
    2. peanut butter
    3. crane
    4. Titanic
    5. tent
    6. dentist
    7. wedding ring
    8. elevator
    9. chewing gum
    10. newspaper boy
    11. glove
    12. arrow
    13. attorney

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  • Cat LinkedIn Reality

    Cat LinkedIn Reality

    Reality: I poop in the litter box myself.

    LinkedIn: Independently executes a self-sanitation protocol, expertly managing bio-waste in designated litter facilities. Maintains exceptional personal hygiene and cleanliness, contributing to a well-ordered and harmonious home environment.