I hate it when people call me a windmill.
I’m not a big fan.
Tone: Clever
Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Dismayed
Someone ripped the 5th month out of my calendar.
I’m dismayed.
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Dad’s Terrible Timing With Life’s Harsh Truths
Morris asks his son, now aged 10, if he knows about the birds and the bees.
“I don’t want to know!” the child said, bursting into tears.
Confused, the father asked his son what was wrong.
“Oh dad,” he sobbed, “at age six I got the ‘there’s no Santa’ speech. At age seven I got the ‘there’s no Easter bunny’ speech. Then at age 8 you hit me with the ‘there’s no tooth fairy’ speech! If you’re going to tell me now that grown-ups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
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LMFAO Discography
lol i’d never checked out LMFAO’s full discography before
Party Rock (2009)
Sorry for Party Rocking (2011)
We Were Going Through Some Stuff (2012)
Mistakes Were Made (2014)
We Are Always Growing and Learning (2015)
We Will Strive To Do Better In Future (2017)
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Belichick Dog Draft
Some people teach their dogs to fetch and sit.
Bill Belichick teaches his dog to draft defensive backs from obscure Division II schools in the second round.
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Pig Latin Poet
One of the perks of being a Pig Latin poet is that it’s pretty easy to come up with rhymes.
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Ohio Owes Buddy Holly an Apology
If Ohio is the birthplace of both aviation and rock and roll, I’d say they owe that Buddy Holly fella an apology.
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Manners at the Dinner Table Apply Everywhere
The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband’s lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. “I demand proper manners in bed,” she declared, “just as I do at the dinner table.”
Amused by his wife’s formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and climbed quietly between the sheets. “Is that better?” he asked, with a hint of a smile.
“Yes,” replied the young woman, “much better.”
“Very good, darling,” the husband whispered. “Now would you be so kind as to please pass the pussy?”
