What do you call a belt made of watches?
A waist of time.
Tone: Clever
Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Free of charge
The sweater my wife gave me was picking up static electricity, so I went to the store to change it.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
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It didn’t have any engineers
Why couldn’t the engine hear?
It didn’t have any engineers.
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Ken came in a different box
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Because Ken came in a different box. -
Every year it’s Dublin
Ireland’s capital is the fastest-growing city.
Every year it’s Dublin. -
Penguin Problems: Ice Cream and Car Repairs!
A penguin was driving her car when it started shaking and making a noise. Fortunately, she was able to make it to a mechanic before it stopped running.
The mechanic told her it would be a couple of hours before he could get to it, so he suggested the penguin hang out at the ice cream shop across the street.
The penguin grabbed her laptop from the car and headed across the street to check email and do some work.
Two hours later, she went back to the shop and spoke with the mechanic. The penguin asked, “What’s the problem? Is it the transmission?”
The mechanic responded, “It looks like you blew a seal.”
To which the penguin responded, “Nah, that’s just a little ice cream,” as she wiped her chin.
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Say fuck at the same time
How do you get 29 nice old ladies to say fuck at the same time?
Have the 30th nice old lady say, “Bingo!”
