Tone: Clever

Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Just one nail

    What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
    You can hang the picture with just one nail.

  • A cavity search

    How do you know if your dentist was a corrections officer before?
    If he wants to do a cavity search.

  • Now I stand corrected

    I didn’t believe in my chiropractor.
    But now I stand corrected.

  • I think she’s bluffing

    My wife says she’s leaving me because of my unhealthy obsession with poker.
    I think she’s bluffing.

  • She gave me a big hug

    I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
    She turned around and gave me a big hug.

  • Blowing things out of proportion

    My wife keeps blowing everything out of proportion.
    She is single-handedly ruining my balloon animal business.

  • He’s a web designer

    My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
    We had a few drinks. Turns out he’s a web designer.

  • An arm and a leg

    If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, try swimming with sharks.
    It can cost you an arm and a leg.

  • It was OK

    I recently visited a U.S. state north of Texas and south of Kansas.
    It wasn’t great… but it was OK.

  • It was a draft

    Somebody threw a beer at Donald Trump today.
    Don’t worry, it was a draft—he was able to dodge it.