Tone: crude

Crude humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Cant Breathe Unbutton Pants

    Cant Breathe Unbutton Pants

    I CAN’T BREATHE

    Just Unbutton your Pants

  • Dear Lord Look Away

    Dear Lord Look Away

    Dear Lord. If you could just look away for 2 minutes.

  • Home Alone With My Penis

    Home Alone With My Penis

    When I’m home alone with my penis

  • Heroin Balloon Butt

    Heroin Balloon Butt

    When you’re fucking a girl in the butt and a balloon of heroin plops out

    Don’t mind if I do.

  • Constipated Memory

    Constipated Memory

    Constipated woman ‘lost 10 years of memory’ after straining too hard on toilet

    me coming out of the chipotle bathroom:

    I have no memory of this place.

  • Spicy Butt Pancakes

    Spicy Butt Pancakes

    DEEP THOUGHT: Why is spicy the only flavor my butt can detect?

    Why can’t I eat pancakes and then 14 hours later be like OOH PANCAKES AGAIN

  • Worm Early Birds

    Worm Early Birds

    if I was a worm I’d sleep in and make those early birds feel so fuckin dumb

  • I Need a Handsaw

    Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw.

    So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can’t hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

    He pointed to his eye meaning “I”, pointed to his knee meaning “need”, then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion.

    The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his cock, starts masturbating and points at it.

    The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, “What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!”

    The other guy says, “I knew that! I was just trying to tell you – I’m coming!”

  • Disabled Porn

    Disabled Porn

    I’D LIKE THE PORN IN MY ROOM TO BE DISABLED

    WE ONLY HAVE REGULAR PORN YOU SICK BASTARD

  • So Big Fuck U

    So Big Fuck U

    [about to have sex]

    her: ur so big

    me: [putting my shirt back on] fuck u