Another friend recently quit his job to pursue a career to be a mime.
I haven’t heard from him since.
Deadpan humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
Another friend recently quit his job to pursue a career to be a mime.
I haven’t heard from him since.
I met a nun who wiped her nose on her clothes.
She had a nasty habit.
I have a friend who quit his job to pursue his dream in archaeology.
His career is now in ruins.
When my daughters were much younger, I tried to explain to them that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants.
But they still make fun of me.
The next Toy Story movie will include sex toys. They even wrote a new song for Andy’s mom:
You’ve got a friend IN ME.
Growing up, my mom would never hit me or my brother.
When I asked her why, she said, “Because your dad was better at it.”
What did Mary Poppins like for dinner?
Soup or ahi frozen fish sticks, ex peas, all delicious.
Did you know that if your dog is running a fever, you’re supposed to give them ketchup?
Apparently it’s perfect for fixing a hot dog!