Playful Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Last Christmas

LAST Christmas, I gave you my heart…

But the very NECKS day, you gave it away!

I WAS BANGING A RETARDED GIRL AND SHE WOULDN'T LET ME CUM IN HER MOUTH

SO I CAME ON THE WINDOW AND LET NATURE TAKE ITS COURSE

Whenever the self checkout at Walmart says "insert cash or pay another way." I always push my titties together.

Never works.

Damn Kyle

save some pussy for the rest of us

Nice things to whisper when hugging someone

you smell different when you’re awake

please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)

soon

you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it

your hair tastes like strawberries

tonight….you.

he knows, don’t go home.

I always knew you would die in my arms

every time I poop I think of you

no one will ever believe you

yesssssssssssss

I killed mufasa

I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear

mother told me it would be like this

My wife emailed me the pictures from our first trip together, but I couldn’t open any of the files.

I always have trouble with emotional attachments.

Poop jokes aren’t my favorite kind of jokes.

But they are a solid number two.

I'm no doctor, but if anyone here is gonna save this man's life, it's the girl on the right

I DON'T ALWAYS COMB MY HAIR, BUT WHEN I DO, I USE A BALLOON.

What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?

Ian.