A man and a woman are on board of the plane of an overnight flight.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash ChaosTone: Playful
Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Leaving Early
Three women all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they watched the boss leave work early. One day, the ladies decided that when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never came back to work, or called to check in, so how would she possibly know they went home early?
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.Unleash Chaos -
The Seeing-Eye Chihuahua
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!”
The guy, without missing a beat, says “This is my seeing-eye dog.” “Oh man,” the bartender says, “I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on me.” The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guy sees him, stops him and says “You can’t bring that dog in here unless you tell him it’s a seeing-eye dog.”
The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink.
The bartender says “Hey, you can’t bring that dog in here!”
The second man replies “This is my seeing-eye dog.”
The bartender says, “No, I don’t think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs.”
The man pauses for a half-second and replies “What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?”
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The Sham Rock
My boyfriend bought me a diamond ring…
The stone was cut in the shape of a four-leaf clover.
I wore it all the time to show how much it meant to me.
One day, I got curious and had it valued at a jeweller’s.
Unfortunately, they told me that my boyfriend had been swindled, as the diamond was actually a cubic zirconia.
It was a sham rock.
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The Bald Man and the Forest
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting…
He said, “Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it’s completely gone now. My hair can’t be saved. But look outside at the forest. It’s such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they’ll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair.”
“What I want you to do…” the man continued. “Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family’s duty to keep this forest strong.”
So they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
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Trumpets
John: *writes Revelations* Lord, the End is signaled by trumpets?
God: No, Trump/Pence
John: Right. Trumpets.
God: Fine. They’ll know.
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The Italian Chef Passed Away
Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness?
He pastaway.
Cannoli do so much.
Now hes just a pizza history. -
Professional Hide-and-Seek Tournament
I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.
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Three Tons of Hair Stolen from Wig Factory
Three tons of hair was stolen from a wig factory.
Police are combing the area.
