Why do riot police go to work so early?
To beat the crowd.
Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
Why do riot police go to work so early?
To beat the crowd.
My favourite word is drool.
It just rolls off the tongue.
My ditzy neighbor bought a waterbed and said it was way more bouncy than he expected…
He said, “I’m guessing it’s because I filled it with spring water.”
My dog accidentally swallowed a whole bag of Scrabble tiles. We took him to the vet to get him checked out.
No word yet…
I was in a good mood till I started petting a duckling in the park.
Then I started feeling a little down.
I had to break up with my deaf girlfriend.
She never listened to me.
It wasn’t much fun when I broke my neck last year.
But now I can look back and laugh.
I started a poetry club in prison.
It had prose and cons.
My grandfather was highly decorated in World War Two.
In fact, many people believe it was the tinsel on his helmet that got him shot.
I told my kids to stop pretending to be farm animals.
I was getting sick of them horsing around.