My wife and I had only been married two weeks when I told her, “Honey, I’m going to Hank’s Tavern for a beer. I’ll be right back.”
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash ChaosTone: Playful
Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Retirement Benefits Without ID
Yesterday, I went to apply for retirement benefits but forgot my wallet. The clerk said, “Just unbutton your shirt.”
I showed my gray chest hair. She said, “That’ll do,” and processed everything.
When I told my wife, she said, “You should’ve dropped your pants, maybe you’d qualify for disability too.”
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Words Cannot Describe How Much This Bugs Me
I keep forgetting the difference between etymology and entomology…
…and words cannot describe how much this bugs me.
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Widdle Wabbits
A little girl goes to a pet shop and asks, “Excuse me, do you have any widdle wabbits?”
The shopkeeper’s heart melts. He gets down on his knees so that he’s on her level and says, “Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft fluffy widdle wabbit, or one like that brown one over there?”
The little girl blushes, rocks back on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and whispers, “I don’t weally fink my anaconda gives a phuc.”
