Tone: Playful

Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Looking in Alderaan Places

    If you came here expecting me to drop some awesome Star Wars puns today…

    I’m afraid you’re looking in Alderaan places.

  • Bounty on Me Head

    A pirate walks into a bar with a roll of paper towels on his head. The bartender asks, “What’s with the roll of paper towels on your head?”

    The pirate says, “There’s Bounty on me head.”

  • Missing You

    After an argument a husband sat in his work room throwing darts at a photo of his wife but not a single one hits the target.

    From upstairs his wife asks him, “What are you doing?”

    He replies, “Missing you!”

  • Password Rejected

    A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with. Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘penis.’ Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password. She then almost died laughing at the computer’s response: PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH!

  • The New Rules

    A typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady.

    After the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

    “I’ll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want — and I don’t expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner. I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies, and don’t you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?”

    His new bride said, “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o’clock every night… whether you’re here or not.”

  • Get Treatment for 20 Dollars

    A Chinese doctor moved to the U.S., but couldn’t land a job at a hospital. So, he decided to open his own little clinic and hung a sign outside that read:

    “Get treatment for $20 — If not cured, get $100 back!”

    One day, an American lawyer saw the sign and thought, “Easy money!” So he walked in.

    Lawyer: “Doc, I’ve lost my sense of taste.”

    Doctor: “Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22. Put three drops in the patient’s mouth.”

    Lawyer: “Ugh! That’s kerosene!”

    Doctor: “Congrats, your taste is back! That’ll be $20.”

    Annoyed but not giving up, the lawyer returned a few days later.

    Lawyer: “I’ve lost my memory. I can’t remember a thing.”

    Doctor: “Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put three drops in his mouth.”

    Lawyer: “Hey — that’s kerosene! You gave me this last time!”

    Doctor: “Congrats, your memory’s back! That’ll be $20.”

    Now fuming, the lawyer came back one last time, determined to win the $100.

    Lawyer: “Doc, my eyesight is so bad — I can’t see a thing!”

    Doctor: “I’m sorry, I don’t have any medicine for that. Here’s your $100.”

    The doctor handed him a $20 bill.

    Lawyer (squinting): “Hey, wait! This is only $20, not $100!”

    Doctor: “Congrats, your eyesight’s restored! That’ll be $20.”